2 sides of 1 person
wah.... tired sia...
after yesterday of going to bday dinner, + they come to my house to play my mahjong.... played mahjong till 230 (which i had only played 5 matches), then they watched soccer....
Really cannot make it... so much so that i fall asleep while Ruldoph and M was watching the 2nd match.
I was a bit irritated by someone yesterday..... its been a while actually, when i sometimes cannot stand the way the person speaks or behaves. And it seems like tt person like to oppose my view pts. I not sure whether the person was deliberate, or juz so happen that the person always have a different viewpt from mine. And the way the person expressed his difference view pt.... GRRRRR......
There are ppl who commented that i have one of the best temper they have ever seem in a person. My army mates know of me as someone who has a quick temper... haha, they even laughed when i told them my frens think i have a good temper. SY mentioned that she had a bad temper. and if she is reading this..... everyone has a temper. I couldnt stand the person i mentioned abt; does tt make me a bad tempered person? Maybe. But it shouldnt really matter to my identity, bec i know tt i feel irritated by the person only.
Also, I tend to reflect on the times when i get angry or irritated.... Was i right to be feel angry? Should i feel angry? Why did i feel angry? Thus the person serves as a mirror, for me to understand the things which i dun like to see in a person. And bec i personally felt irritated by the person, i would try not to do the same things on-to otthers. It seems to me that i might do the same thing to other ppl too... so i would tell myself, to avoid doing those things to ppl next time.
1st day after exam...
I feel a sense of loss. Not sure why... but suddenly felt that there's nothing for me to do. It's something like suddenly losing a direction in life i guess... suddenly i have all the time in the world. Yet with so much time, I have nothing much to do. Sigh....
I have always felt that exam periods were always the most productive period for me. I get a lot of things done within the 24 hours. I get to sleep, i get to study, and i get to play games too! All within 24hrs. And with the sense of urgency, the things that I do tends to be done in a more efficient manner. Someone also told me that, playing games during exam period is more exciting; because it's like u doing something which u not supposed to be doing, and the adrenanlin rush and anxiety actually contributes to the enjoyment of the game. Well, I suppose that what he/she said is right for me.... The games which i played during exam period might lose its excitment after exams are over.
I think my temporal sense (sense of time) also changed during, and after exams. During exam periods, 5 minutes is very precious. I can sleep for 5 minutes, or play games for 5 minutes. But during the hols, 5 minutes seems less significant... timing seem to be less impt during hols.
Well, thats not to say that i LIKE exam periods, and cant wait for exams to come. No, that's not my point. I definitely dun like exam periods. Cos it makes me feel all edgy and nervous. But yet, I cannot deny that exam periods has his perks for me too. Besides the above paragraph, I also can remember information in a book better, than when i reading on my own leisure. Studying for exams for 1 week, beats reading for 3 weeks; i can remember the information better during the 1 week. Of course lah, i not sure how much of the info still get retains inside my mind after exams, but hey, the illusion is there....
Having said all that, i think one of the more impt points abt why i feeling a sense of loss is.... I STILL HAVENT SWITCH FROM MY ALERT MODE TO MY CASUAL MODE.damn, i feeling sleepy right now, and yet, i cant take an afternoon nap to rest myself....still in that alert mode....
Sigh, when is the next exam coming? I can't wait for it to happen.
Hahahaha.... i definitely deluding myself into believing that. =P well, i'm a conflicting person.....
phew! exams finally finished! FINALLY!! have to say that this semester is the worst so far. I tot last sem was the worst becos I was bogged down with a lot of projects such that I didnt have time to study. But this sem is worst in terms of concentration. Dunno why, i juz couldnt keep my focus while studying for this sem. Kept on wanting to play computer games after studying for a while. Though i had always play games while studying for exams for the previous sem (1/3 studying, 1/3 playing, 1/3 sleeping... roughly in tt proportion), this sem was reallllllie bad in terms of focus. Hopefully, my results dun fall too badly...though i wont be surprised if it falls. Juz hoping it dun fall too badly.
Well, since this is my 1st exam period with her, Ruldoph (why i call her Ruldoph, go figure), I can understand why exam period is a trial and tribulation period for couples. Esp when the couple has conflicting studying habits, it can be very stressing for the couple.
Studying habits can be differenitiated into 2 properties (to me). Ppl can either study in a grp/alone or study at home/outside. I belong to the study alone at home category. I cannot study in a grp.... or rather my efficiency is very low when i study in a grp outside home. I tend to sleep a lot when i studying. And when I'm in a grp, i cant really sleep cos got someone beside me... dun feel comfortable sleeping. And i cant really sleep well when i sleep outside.... SO, in the end, after trying to study in school for my 1st sem in uni, i decided tt " Since i'm going to sleep ANYWAY, i might as well study at home, so that i can SLEEP BETTER". So i like to study at home, alone.
And when i studying for exams, i tend to become very focused. Which means tt i tend to block out stuff, and ignore things. Thus meaning i less concerned abt ppl.
Well, i been telling Ruldoph my studying style even before exams starts.... cos i know i might neglect her during that period. I was also worried tt she might ask me to study along with her, which i can't. But luckily, Ruldoph is VERY UNDERSTANDING.... i really glad that she is someone who is understanding, and won't make a big fuss over small little things.
After this exam period, i can understand now why lotsa couples break up during exam periods.... esp when they have a conflict in studying habit. One would like to study together with his gf, but the gf might want to study alone.Or vice versa (which more often than not, is the case. yah i'm bias =P). Then the girl might feel that the guy doesnt care abt her, tt he only concern abt his work, etc etc. Esp during exam period, most of us get a bit edgy and get irritated easily. Small little things might spark off conflicts, and conflicts escalated into big fights.... So it helps if the couple is understanding, and accomodate each other habits.
Thanks Ruldoph! I'm glad its u! And dun worry, i wont neglect u too much wan.... (haha, esp with so many of ur friends reminding me =P).
P.S. eh, if she doesnt like tt term "Ruldoph", i will need to change it =P
