7/4/07 was the 2nd session for Absolut faci's training.

I have my reservations about whether I should turn up, as I was absent for the 2nd session. Presence of additional people would affect the group dynamics, and is definitely not in the best interest for the group.

But I decided to go... for reason of self interest . I think I would be able to learn something in the session.

Was initially slightly uncomfortable, as I don't know most of the young ones. And unlike mao and audrey and Ruldoph, I not the kind who can break the ice with ease.

But of course, the level of unease cannot be compared to how I feel when I'm overseas. Alone, and with a job responsbility to interact with ppl.

Swaps is still a sanctuary for me.

1st session

During the 1st discussion, I felt that there were too many seniors... all giving their input. I not sure what the facis would feel, but I thought that it might be quite overwhelming.

"Give them space to grow, and time to learn"--- thats my opinion for Swaps juniors (though Swaps is defunct now).

2nd session

There wasn't any concrete plans for the 2nd session, Who-Am-I. So the trainers, Na, Mao, LY, ZS and me had a quick huddle, and decided on the spot the training plan. Due to lack of time, we decided to split the grp into 2, and let the facis role-play right from the start, and us pointing out learning points.

But it didn't go well. The facis were totally unsure of how to go about facilitating the activity, amd we had to change our approach. For my team, I facilitated once and pointed out the relevant key points to note.

One thing that struck me was my calmness admist the changes and facilitation. At no time did I felt nervous. Contrast with my anxiety for almost every lecture/workshop that I conduct at work... I never thought I would still be able to find the inner peace again.

And with calmness come clearer thinking. Words come (quite) naturally to me during the session. Whereas in lecture/workshop, I struggle to find the words.

Emotional discharge

Was surpised to know that it happened. I hope everything turns out fine.

Pleasant surprise

I kept emphasising my Absolut experience to the facis

"Absolut is as much for the camper as for the faci". Not Ruldoph's exact words (darn, I think i lost the sms when my phone died), but the essence of it in my 2nd Absolut camp, but my 1st as a faci. Her words which lead to my current views on Absolut.

In Absolut, there's no performance indicator to show whether the faci was successful or not. Its not likely that one will undergo a metamorphesis during the 3 day camp... What we hope to achieve is to plant a thought, a view, a perspective in life... that will hopefully germinate and bloom years down the road in the individual.

That sound lofty... but that's my wish for my campers.

If it doesn't happen, well, i hope that at least they enjoy the camp, make some new friends and get to know themselves better.

Anyway, I digress. I was emphasising to the facis to be "urself"... bec its too difficult to try to mimic another person's style. And I told them how I tried hard to be like mao, and it was just too tall an order. I realised by reverting to my own personality, I feel more at ease and I can facilitate better.

Mao was pleasantly surprised to hear that

After which, LY added... "Now, I realised i was trying to be like you (me as a faci)".

Oh my, I was very very surprised. It was my 1st time as an Absolut faci for her grp... and I felt lousy, cos I thought i did a poor job.

LY, that comment mean a lot to me.... thanks.... =)